The situation in Nairobi is becoming critical. My last four commutes on buses and matatus have seen a downward spiral, and things are now becoming unbearable.
As you may know from previous blog posts, it is the tradition for buses and matatus in Nairobi to play music at ear-splitting volume. This is not ideal. But now combine the volume with the choice of music, and I simply can’t cope. Please think of me, and all the other innocent commuters (who do not realise the pain they are causing themselves), as you consider the following musical choices…
Day 1: I was not initially worried, more bemused by the strange turn of events when my packed matatu, struggling through the traffic jams across town, started playing The Lion King’s Can You Feel The Love Tonight? Just quite surreal…
Day 2: But events swiftly moved from bizarre to concerning as my bus home the next day played Chaka Khan’s Aint Nobody as we trundled and bumped our way along the half-made roads from Muthaiga.
Day 3: Yesterday morning we reached a new low point, as the bus driver and passengers ignored my pleas to stop torturing me with Chris De Berg’s Lady In Red at 7.30 in the morning. Why? Why me? What have I done to deserve this?
Day 4: Still traumatised from the previous day, this morning I gingerly sat down on my bus and was relieved to hear…nothing. Silence. Bliss. Joy. Then the driver noticed that the aging radio had momentarily conked out, thumped it, and a deep, wailing moan filled my ear drums. Yes, it was Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On. Arrgghhh!
Mr Bus Driver – I didn’t come all the way to Kenya to be assaulted with this musical detritus. I know I looked unhappy with the amorphous, tinnitus-inducing R&B you were playing a few weeks ago, but I didn’t mean it. I repent. Please bring the R&B back!
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| Nairobi traffic... |
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| ...And Celine Dion - noone prepared me for this! |
They love her here in Nigeria too. It has alarmingly got to the point where it doesn't feel right on a day if I haven't heard Celine. Shudder.
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